It’s September Again.

It’s once September. So another “I miss you,” again.

People say I miss you too much.
I miss you years and months, days and nights.
I miss you like a blank notebook that was filled in memories about you, about me, about us.

A year of 12 months, ordinary days suddenly have more meanings to remember;
Date of I loved you, date of first gift, date of first love song …to date of nothing – just simply because I miss you.
A world of 193 nations, strange places suddenly have more reasons to remember;
Streets you walked, autumn leaves you stepped on, snowflakes on your lips – just simply because you tell me.
Black coffee or bitter cigarettes, good wine or busy works;
I don’t know, but I’ll try to understand – just simply because of you.

People say I miss you too much.
Especially in September. 
September without you is never the same as September with you.
September without you before you and September without you after you are always different.

People say I miss you too much.
I remember crying for the first time till morning
I remember wandering for the first time till night
I remember a lot of first times, but none of them is miserable as much as remembering the last time we said “I miss you. Let’s break up.”
Yeah, I miss you. I miss you now and then.

People say, time flies and soon I will forget.
But I say they are wrong, for I will still miss you.
My memory of you is a home built by emotions
With you, with me, it’s an extravaganza composed of laughter, belief, fear of loosing, surprise, sadness, following up with anticipation, anger and bitterness.
Without you, without me, without that alchemy between two human souls, it’s an abstract sculpture of sick heart, attempted to mend with faint smiles and fragile secrets.
Never works, so it soon becomes broken.

Yeah, I miss you;
But down the memory lane, missing you now and then is a 2-way road of past and present.

That bittersweet I thought I’d never forgotten, I don’t actually remember how bittersweet it was anymore.
That fear when I thought I could lose you forever, I don’t feel my heart aching as much as it did anymore.
That tendency when you said you loved me, I couldn’t remember how happy I was anymore.

Yeah, I did not forget you.
But I forgot how I missed you.

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